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For those of you who have seen Ratatoullie you have seen the video that I am about to post/talk about. I knew I expecting the Wall-E trailer. I knew because Pixar always shows their next movie in a trailer of the current Pixar film you are watching. I love Pixar. I have grown up with this company. Pixar really is the only children's film studio that makes really good kid's movies. I've enjoyed them since I was five. Anyway, back to the trailer. As you can tell it starts out with the Director of the film telling the audience a short story of Pixar. Then the real trailer starts. I have to admit, whenever I see or think of the trailer, I shed a few tears. It sounds odd, but Pixar is close to my heart and I know they will not disappoint, especially with such an adorable little robot.

Enjoy the trailer.

Lately I have been hearing this one phrase, mostly said by girls that really irks me. It is
"Oh that/he/she is so cute!"
Usually a person would not have a problem with this phrase, on it's own. For me, I hate the context that it is used. It is used in conjunction with an elderly person. When I first heard this being used I was completely shocked. I can understand a teenage girl saying a dog, a boy, or even Riley is cute; but not a senior citizen.

Do you think this is cute?

If you do, I think there is something seriously wrong with you.

Old people are not cute. There is a standard, and I know it is very mean, but old people are disgusting. Hasn't TV taught you that old people should not be cute, adorable creatures. They are people just like you and me, except way way too wrinkly. End this phrase now.

The second thing that grinds my gears is that I hate when girls use the term "Lesbian Lovers"
Stop. You are not allowed to use that term unless you have made out or done more with said "lover". I know it sounds "cute" and the alliteration works quite well, but please stop. It annoys me, and I hope I'm not the only one. It's like if you over use a phrase and it loses its meaning, lesbians should not be one of those words. Guys cannot call each other "gay buddies" or some variation off that. It is weird and it is an odd double standard.

It seems that life is still hard for me, even though things aren't as hard as they were. I kind of want to start this entry backwards, just for a moment. With all the things I think are going shitty in my life, at least I think it's shitty, my one thing that centered me a month ago, did it for me again. I'm not talking about pr0n. Scrubs did. When I watched the season finally on a prerecorded VHS. Sorry people, I don't have a DVR even though I am such a tech geek. I had to watch it later because Thursday was more of a nightmare than it normally was. I had so much homework and shit to do that it really was too much. I didn't finish it. But all empowering Lee-Park didn't show up again for some reason. It was probably her kids again. Whatever.It happens so much now that our class doesn't really care. Well anyway, on to the real problem at hand. Recently the girl factor has been getting increasing more uncomfortable. To me it seems more difficult than it has ever been. In the past I was always the guy that was tossed aside. This tossing aside gave way into an over all social creepiness. I made some bad decisions. I had to mature over this time and gain a stable reputation back. In my senior year, I started to get really noticed. Over the years I gained a low self image so when people gave me compliments, I thought they were full of shit. Fucked up I know. Then this girls started to like me. Not girls I liked, OH NO. Things couldn't be that simple. It had to be girls that are way too young and way too crazy for me. I constantly think that maybe if I did what all those other guys do it get meaningless action. It's being an asshole and not caring. Trying means nothing, doing nothing and being a douche bag about it, it lines up in front of you. Robert and I have discussed this on many occasions. He's become bitter for the same reasons. It hurts to try. I don't want to give up, but it seems to be the only viable option left. I try to get attention from the girls around me, but it seems pointless now. I just realize I probably wont have a relationship for awhile. I have to mention something that happened to me today. I saw my sister perform in her play in the theatre group. She was excellent. lately she has been exceeding my expectations of her, which is a good thing. She may actually have talent instead of a crazy mom forcing her daughter to do many extra things an average 9 year old should do. Well back to the point. I saw something I wasn't prepared mentally to see. It's quite odd thinking about how I was uncomfortable with what I saw instead of being flushed with hormonal joy. I saw a girl who I like's thong. Now before, meaning a few years ago, I would have enjoyed this sight. But now, not so much. Why? I think I may have matured and also it may have been standards of this girl. I just assumed her to not be the thong wearing type. I guess I have matured I think. Not going ga ga over something that would have made me excited. Throughout the night I was being ignored until Robert came to my rescue. These girls intimidate me so. It's hard fir me to have a conversation without me saying something stupid or self loathing. I do it a lot. Right now I think I should quit while I'm ahead (even though I don't feel like I am ahead of anything) and forget about girls for now (no, I'm not turning gay or bi or whatever, I mean High School girls). Maybe college will give me a fresh start, maybe. I have gone though enough shit to deserve some happiness, don't I? I feel like I am over due.

I was extremely happy with this years Oscars. I am so happy for Martin Scorsese and the Departed (I did see it so I can actually like it). I was pretty spot on with my predictions.

Except for that stupid Happy Feet. You never steal the spotlight from Pixar. I hated that movie. See it and tell my why it wasn't if you think otherwise.

Well I guess I was tagged by Jessica to write ten random things about me, so here I go.

1. I still sleep with a teddy bear at night. It is my most prized possession. I always say if there was a fire and I could only take one thing, it would be my bear. I've had that thing since my briss.

2. Another one of my weird sleeping habits is that recently I flip my blankets every night. I did it as sort of a superstitious way to get good luck for the next day. Things don't seem as bad as they have been, so I guess it's working.

3. Out of everyone in my Boy Scout troop, the scouts I trust the most are freshman. One of them is not too sharp, but he still is a great guy.

4. Sometimes I am very OCD. Like with my bead sheets. I also do it with my Wii remotes such that I have to use only a certain controller as my P1, or I have to be the first one to do something on my file.

5. I have had a new best friend every year in High School. Either we grow apart, or something like that happens. It's never a fight.

6. I used to be a very temperamental child. Until I started maturing. I became to be more relaxed.

7. When I was younger I used to get upset stomaches a lot. I would either get them from worrying about homework, or even the dreadful scary amusement park ride. The end result was my throwing up.

8. Toy Story on the Sega Genesis was the first video game that I ever owned, but Spyro The Dragon made the gamer I am today.

9. I am in the same Boy Scout Troop that my father was on as a child.

10. My initials are roughly the same as my school. Jamus Michael Hain - John Marshall High

Tag: Phoebe, Louise, Kat, Ceci.

I have to say that I am in love with Heroes. It was a show that I was trying to get into for a while but I never really remembered when it aired. Now that I saw it today as a rerun, I am completely hooked. Who would have thought that I would love a super hero drama. It kicks so much ass. NBC was nice enough to put the episodes online, but they say it only is for a short time, but hey, there is always youtube.
Heroes Videos
Please check this out. I would love to have a friend who adores this so I can talk about this with someone.

And so another chapter end for the Silver Lake Children's Theater Group. This is going to be so depressing in a few months.

After the SAT I was completely drained of energy. I was home alone all day with nothing to do after that. Things got pretty boring so I tool a long ass nap. My Mother woke up just to check if I am still alive (seriously she does) and told me I should get Chinese food and rent a movie. She said something about Click, just because it came out for home video viewing recently. So I took her advice for once and rented a movie and be a good little Jew boy and eat out some Chinese food. I went to Video Journeys and saw Click; it was the last copy in the store actually. I picked it up watched it. It had its funny moments. But then half way through it had a really good dramatic turn without being too over bearing with it's dramatic feeling too it. I really liked it. Way more than I thought I would have. If you can trust me with my movie taste then see this movie. It really was worth it.

P.S. Henry Winkler and Christopher Walken are to bad ass in this movie.

Hi! I am not Jamus!

I am a little bit less angsty than Jamus. I have once again commandeered Jamus's livejournal in order to... commit all sorts of dastardly deeds, such as... I'm not really sure, but it's the thought that counts, right?

No on 90

Yes on... interesting things.

!!!


I have customer reviews. They are good reviews. Because. Yes. Right.

Why do people, and what I'm mostly talking about is girls on Myspace, have to post bull$h!+ bulletins? I'm not trying to be sexist or anything, that is the only gender I see doing this, but I mean are these people so superstitious that they have to relay everyone they open? I just can't take this stupidity any more.

P.S Whoring yourself out by posting bulletins saying comment my new pictures is also stupid. If you have real friends, they should figure it out on their own.

It seems I can only write about something that gets me upset. This entry is like that but this more of a reflection. Well lately my life has been turning daisies into shit. I start off with a good thing then at the end of the day something bad happens. This happened on Sunday. Few may know of my craptacular phone, the N-Gage. I hate the thing. I had to bring it out of a drawer and use it because my other cell phone is broken. Well I was browsing the web because I was bored and I found a phone deal on Amazon. It looked nice. It had features that I liked. I want to get a camera, for taking pictures of weird stuff whenever the opportunity arrives. Well the phone seemed free. I wasn’t eligible for it. In the end, after rebates, it would cost $150. That’s $150 that neither my father nor I have. I got pissed at that. I just wanted a nice working piece of equipment for once. I took it out on my dad. He tried getting me a less expensive phone. I didn’t like any of them. If I was going to be stuck with a phone for the next 2 years, I better like it. I certainly wont get a Razr. I hate trendy things, unless I have it first and know how to use it (i.e. my PSP). Well today I went to the happiest place on earth. It was great. I did everything I wanted as in rides and our timing was impeccable. The best part of all is that there were no fights at all, even though my dad was getting cranky. Something strange happened while I was there. I was happy for once. On a few rides like Indiana Jones and Space Mountain, also the fireworks show, I started to cry. It was tears of happiness. It made me remember the good time. The no bullshit time in our lives, and how in a year it will all go away for me. I hid those tears well. I don’t think anyone knew. A lot of the rides are in dark rooms or it was at night. Well to end a near perfect day my dad tells me that his ex-wife, Gen, has a complaint about the way I treat my sister. I guess I joke around with her too much. I thought I was on the same level with her, even though she is 8. She never said anything. My sister Eden is going to be crazy smart, but she is going to have a harsh upbringing. Her mom is insane. She harasses my father 5 times a day on his cell phone. An ex-wife shouldn’t do that. Well if Gen takes this out of hand my dad will defend me and if she wants to hurt me my dad will do the worst of all things trying to keep me safe. Gen has ruined mine and my father’s life for the complete worse these last few years. I thought I was cool with my sister. I had to be nice to Gen. I didn’t want to be on bad terms. So I have to brown nose her, not anymore I guess. I felt that treating my sister like a friend than a sister. I mean don’t people treat their friends better than their siblings. I can’t sleep because of this and I don’t want to even though I need it. Oh, I need to mention that I need to start all over on my eagle project. I waited too late and slacked off too much so someone else did it. I thought I had a good day for once, it seems like I can never get a good day. Something bad always has to happen. At least Azumanga Diaho will make things more tolerable.

I like my new default Pic. It is teh coolz0rz.

It's Roxas if you don't know.

Man, I feel so horrible right now. It would seem that I had a great weekend, but I don’t feel really good right now. I’ve been an ass to everyone that I know. I felt really alone. When the SCTG is looked upon as a community, I don’t feel that way. Barley anyone talks to me in that theater group, and I know why. It’s for my own personal stupidly reasons. When people were crying last night, I couldn’t help but laugh. People were crying because everyone else was crying. I felt bad and good about that. People were being too emotional about it. They feel that once it’s over, IT’S OVER. Do any of these people try to make plans out of the theater group if they really care for each other? Too much teenage emotion. I feel that I need to help out in the theater group somehow only because I’m not doing anything. And guess what, I have no talent to offer. So, it’s a lost cause. Robert this weekend. I love that guy as a tremendous friend. He has been very good to me, but I think I am wearing thin on him with my friendship. I should have realized this before but I do that with a lot of my friends. I really am the cause and I need to see that for myself. No one talks to me in that theater group besides 4 people is because I creep everyone else out. I only have to blame myself. I’m too open about myself and these stupid hormones of mine get me into so much trouble. That’s why I have no girl friend. That that’s how it should be. It’s too dangerous for me. Hey and the media does have a lot to do with someone’s development, to a certain extent. The media does not tell you how you are supposed to look like, but the sex and teen stuff is put way out of proportion to some people (i.e. me) take it out of proportion too. I felt I was the only person why was glad that FREE WILL was over. I did not have a fun experience. Especially during the show. I also yelled at a kid for not returning a game he stole from me and he said at the last minute he lost it. I don’t know if I'm wrong, but he said that that he would pay for $20 when I bought it for $30 a year ago. I looked online it was still $30 with a marked down price of $20 on one site. I don’t want the replacement. He lied to me and he weasels his way out of a lot so I had to stand my ground. Which in the end made me look like an ass hole. I’m really in a confused state for myself. I think that people don’t like me, or even can’t stand me. I also hate my image. Today someone did not want to bother me because I was playing on my PSP. Is it that bad for me? I love it so. It sounds so weird, but it is true. It really is my only way to feel happy and content with my life. When adults or parents ask kids why they play video games. They say, “to escape.” I hate that answer. I said it before with out thinking how stupid it is. I play it to keep my in check. If I talk about my games, your lucky I'm not saying anything stupid that I always regret. I need my KHII and my PS3 stuff to give me something to look forward to in life. I have nothing else. And yes, it really, truly makes me happy. In the SCTG all I am know for in that place is either a creep or a geek. No one bothers to get to know me. People think that all I do is play videogames all day and night. I don’t. I cant. I wish I could though. I have too much stuff to do and no time to do it in. The one thing I wish I could do is hang out with my true friends. I really don’t know who they are now. I don’t know if anyone noticed in the play, it could be just me but that Baxley did not want to be there. She deserved more. She was too overwhelmed and she could not express it. I don’t every really remember her talking to a lot of people during the whole experience. I hate being in the mood I'm in. I hate also after being angry feeling calm. I don’t want to feel calm. I want to be angry until I settle things with myself. I know that once my stuff with the theater group is done I have new things to start. I am not looking forward to summer. I’m going to be super busy and have no goof off time to myself. Also I want to add to everyone who is reading this, that if I piss you off or do something you don’t like in any way, big or small. Let me know. Don’t let it build up and then explode by doing something small. I can’t fix what I don’t know aint broke. I also feel horrible because my dad said I was and ass to that kid in front of everyone. It made me look bad. Another reason I feel miserable. I also found out this weekend that people hate me with out coming to me first. Some I wouldn’t even have ever guessed that had something against me. I need to address this as well; I am really bad with girls. Not just on dating, but friendship wise. The whole concept of hugging all the time freaks me out. I only thought I would do that if they were family or a girlfriend. I'm just not used to it. God I hate teens. EMOTIONS SUCK. HARDCORE. I also know I’m a hypocrite. I hate that about myself. I just plainly suck at times. I'm also scared of a lot of things. Like what will happen to me sums it all up. HS life sucks. It makes the real world seem inviting. Things are stuck as they are. I know this seems weird of me, but I’m sick of my mom talking to me on the phone. She is crazy. If I say I’m busy or will be busy she will freak out and say that, “I don’t love her.” It makes me think it’s true if you hear it enough, like “your not good looking.” I think that. My luck with women makes me think it’s true. I can never get a break can I? I hate how people are so secretive about their emotions about people. If they don’t like someone they should say it. I need to practice that. You know it would be nice if I could help out Robert, but it’s too rude of me to ask him that. He does not need my help as it is. I don’t think I will ever give it my all to the SCTG. I feel my dad is too overbearing when he is with my friends. He act in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. I think my friends feel that way too. I think its time for me to end this rant of mine. If I am being repetitive or going off on all different tangents and bouncing from one topic to another, it’s because I'm writing this on how I feel at the moment I write this. I just hope things get a lot better for me. Also if you see this on both LJ and Myspace it’s because I want to express myself on both forums. If you read the whole thing thanks for caring. It means a lot. I would like to see posts though. Thanks out there.

I am Katya, and I have commandeered Jamus' livejournal for my own, insidious, purposes!

Jamus is playing final fantasy something right now, so I am free to do evil things to his journal! Yay.

Now that it comes down to it, though, I can't think of anything too evil.

Bye!